I thought tonight would be a good night to tell everyone a little about our son Hayden. Hayden is our third son and he is 6 1/2. Around the age two we knew that something wasn't quite right. He didn't talk, threw toys and wouldn't look at us when we called his name. I had a friend who worked in speech therapy for the school district and told me to get it checked out. After 6 months of therapy, testing and visits with autism experts the school district diagnosed him with autism. He was also diagnosed by his doctor. It's been a long road for us. I'm watching a TV program tonight where a family has 6 autistic children. It has made me do some thinking about our life...what we go through everyday...the ups and downs we go through...the heartache and happiness that goes with this diagnosis. I love my son so much...but I have days where I don't know how to handle all that goes on. This summer is going to be a hard one for us with having a new baby. I'm feeling stretched and frustrated...Hayden wants to be outside all the time and it's not possible for me to be out there constantly with him. When we come in the house he kicks doors, screams, cries and hits me/his brothers. It's hard to deal with...especially when I'm feeding the baby or taking care of him. I know there are other people out there who deal with this. I know I'm not the only one, but when you are home constantly (alone) with kids...it's hard not to feel alone.
I'm not writing this to depress anyone...or so you feel sorry for me. It's just something I wanted to share. I have many days where I'm hopeful and thankful to God for all the progress Hayden has made. He has come a long way and improved in many areas. Some days are harder...and you feel sad...or hurt when someone judges you as a parent because they think your kid is naughty. I really try hard to keep my head up and know that Hayden is a blessing...and one of the best things that has ever happened to me and my family. For any of you dealing with this I just want to offer hope...a listening ear...friendship. It's important to connect with people who are going through the same thing...to lift each other up...to offer support. Anyone can feel free to email me or leave a comment if they would like to talk further. Thanks for listening...enjoy this picture of our sweet Hayden.
Let me tell you a little story. We have a son who was 2 lbs. 13 oz. when he was born in 1970. He acted just like this all through his life. He was never diagnosed & I was the one who received the blame for his action. He is now 39 & still has some problems. Autism was not on anyones radar back then. So as a result nothing was done. I can tell you this... in spite of the problems you are far better off that we were. At least you know what the problem is & have some idea what to do about it. We just floundered....
ReplyDeleteMy prayers to you Sweetheart... You have a long road ahead of you.
Love,
Marilyn
xxoo
Rachel! how are you! I am so sorry I never responded to your last email! I did not know you had a baby! And a girl to boot! Congrats!! I know how much you wished for that little girl! She is just so adorable! I am so very happy for you!
ReplyDeleteI know it must be difficult caring for that little one and your big boys at the same time. I wonder if there might be someone willing to swap child care with you on occasion? You might be ale to even hire someone from your local college (special ed dept) to entertaine your son a couple afternoons a week? I am going to bookmark your blog now, so I can keep in touch!
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ReplyDeleteHugs,
Marilyn
xxoo
that is why we junk rachel. it's the only way to get thru it.
ReplyDeletei used to constantly give arek 'projects' to do in order to keep him out of 'trouble', but those projects would end up costing me so much time of clean up and frustration. i have to let arek just be in his element most of the time...even though it is so frustrating that i can't fix him. at nine, i swear things are better for him. they aren't wonderful, but they are better. it's like a light switched on or something midway thru this school year and he just starting calming down some.
he still struggles with school work and focusing. doesn't help that i yell at him....i do it out of frustration, but all he hears is yelling and not the problem.
all the intervention at school and home training has helped me cope.
good luck with hayden. if he were here, i'd throw him at arek and they could obsess about the copyright numbers in the front of every book they pick up and the order of the song titles on itunes while they make all kinds of weird noises over and over with their mouths. lord.....someday they will have a genius moment in their adult life that will put them in a place that society will understand. i just know it.....
hang in there.....
lol
s
Rachel, I think it is very cool that you have shared your struggles with Hayden. No doubt you love him to dearth, but love doesn't make the daily struggles of dealing with a child with autism any easier. Growing up our friends had one child with autism, all of us knew that and I think it helped the family, just knowing what they were dealing with and keeping and eye out for her well being outdoors. You sound like a very strong woman and I am sure you will come up with some creative idea for the Summer months. Something positive will come to you.
ReplyDeleteHey stop on over to celebrate my 100th Post Party!
Hugs, Diane
saturdayfinds.blogspot.com
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteYes I sold my signs on ebay and probably sold one to you! LOL I thought your name sounded familiar! I should look up my old records. What does your sign say?
CONGRATS on your new baby!! What a little sweetheart! Please know that you are in my thoughs and prayers to make it through the not so fun days.
Blessings~
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI like your blog too! I heard that Jenny McCarthy has written some books about raising kids with autism. Check it out if there's time.
Congrats on the new baby!